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Fashion Matters, Especially for Mommies

Family Life
FASHION MATTERS, ESPECIALLY FOR MOMMIES

By: Wendy Day | June 1, 2023

So, what if your 2-year-old barfs on your new chiffon eyelet blouse in navy blue with the ruffled sleeves? Here’s the truth: you’ll still look good in a little bit of puke! The point that I want to make and share with all of you is that FASHION MATTERS, even — and especially for — mommies. Our little ones (and older ones) love to see their mommies looking good, and not just on the outside. I’m talking about LOOKING as great on the outside as you FEEL on the inside! It’s a whole, holistic, healthy, happy mommy package, with you as the main event! Here’s why this matters to me.

My own mother got me into fashion. I used to watch her for what seemed like hours, shuffling around her walk-in closet, trying on outfits, matching shoes to accessories, choosing the right purse. This wasn’t some empty display of vanity — it truly felt like I was witnessing something beautiful: a woman in all her magnificence, adorning the temple of her body with such care and attention that the act itself was sacred. This, to me, was womanhood in all its glory.

My mother would peek over at me and my sister, knowing we were entranced by her movements and examining her choices trying to understand her fashion logic: how could she put together an outfit as cool as that? It was as though she were concocting a menu for a world class restaurant, hors d'oeuvres and all. At times, we would even participate and share our own suggestions:

“Mommy, try the gold scarf instead!”
“Ooh! I like the blue shoes better!”
“Yes, that’s perfect, Mommy. You look beautiful.”

My sister and I would find ourselves playing dress up together. Before we became adults and knew that the world was watching us, this kind of play was innocent, creative and joyful. We were dressing up for nobody but ourselves. My mother would even join in at times and play along, and these became some of my warmest childhood memories.

The truth is that our kids are watching us. We know this. We know they are like sponges absorbing the world around them: observing, memorizing, mimicking, repeating. And we know that we have to set an example in our behavior, choices, and actions so that we can raise human beings who are socially, emotionally, and physically well-adjusted to our changing world. And so, the seemingly small act of selecting clothing, of giving ourselves loving attention, of feeling fashionable and looking our best has a multitude of ripple effects on our kids. We are teaching them to love themselves, to treat themselves well, and to find fun and beauty in everything they do. They are also seeing their parents treat themselves well, taking time and care to look and feel their best, to show up to the world in all their shining colors, with courage, poise, self-respect and self-worth.

Your kids enjoy watching you! Of course, they’ll love you even in those old, gray sweats and the stained T-shirt you love to wear (and I’m definitely not suggesting you throw that out!). It’s about finding balance and comfort in the everyday. But I’m here to remind you not to forget about that little passion for fashion, as much for you as for your family. You deserve to feel sexy, look great, and show the world your beauty. Come on, moms! This literally needs to happen! Motherhood is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So let’s look good in it!

And remember, fashion is more than just looks. It’s about how you feel when you move through the world. To me, the most beautiful thing was seeing my own mother feel beautiful in her skin and in everything she wore. When I saw her walking around, owning her look, loving her body, treasuring herself as she treasured us, I knew that was what I wanted to be like when I grew up.

Today, I take my mother’s lessons into my work as a personal stylist and Life & Style Coach. I am extremely passionate about supporting women — especially mothers — in remembering to take care of themselves in a world that can so easily revolve around their children. I help women not just look good on the outside, I also support them making changes on the inside — because we truly do shine from within. I always like to remind everyone that self-love — loving and caring for ourselves — ultimately translates into loving those around us. We cannot give from an empty cup. Our children will benefit so much more from a mommy who is feeling whole, loved, and nurtured. And of course, fashion isn’t the only way to do that, but it certainly is one of them!

So my point is this: YOU MATTER. And if you need that reminder once in a while, it’s okay. And if you need to show that to yourself to really feel it, do it! Buy that blouse, take that class, sign up for that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Do what it takes to look and feel great, because that will echo well beyond us into the lives of our children and our children’s children. I still feel so grateful to my mother, who left this earth a long time ago, for teaching me the art of fashion. Through her, I learned the many definitions of love, from taking care of yourself to taking care of others — and that it can always be done with style!

Wendy Day is a local Marin mom, personal stylist and certified life/style coach specializing in fashion, weight loss, and positive transformation. She is a board member of the Gilead House where she teaches life skills to the mothers who are sheltered there with their kids. She spent twenty years with Weight Watchers International helping thousands of people transform their bodies and their lives, and four years as a personal stylist with CABI clothing. She believes that change comes from within, and that looking great and feeling great go hand-in-hand. Find out more at wendydaycoaching.com.