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Strong as a Mother

Movement & Motherhood
STRONG AS A MOTHER

By: Kristin Colsky Gavin | May 4, 2023

A beautiful word describes the physical, psychological, and emotional transformation of becoming a mother: “matrescence.” When I entered matrescence the morning of February 9, 2021, just like every new mother I was forever changed. I felt both a love I could not have imagined and the vulnerability of my heart now beating outside of my body. Motherhood is humbling and hard in so many ways. It was impossible to know how I would feel until I was completely immersed in it. I served in the Peace Corps in Ukraine several years ago, “the toughest job you’ll ever love.” I can absolutely say the same thing about being a mother.

As a Pilates instructor and lifelong athlete, I had always considered myself physically strong, but the unmedicated birth of my son truly showed me what I was capable of. It was the most empowered I have ever felt. I found new respect for my own mom as well as for all mothers. The birth and those early days took practically every ounce of my strength - physically, mentally, emotionally – and still those bleary days overflowed with love, tenderness, and awe. Matrescence renewed in me a sense of inner strength, and with it, a deep gratitude for my body and this new life it was able to create.

For years, practicing Pilates has been an almost daily ritual that has helped me strengthen my body, release stress, find calm, focus my mind, and nourish my best self. I crave how it makes me feel. I knew that it would be a long time before I regained the strength that I once had, if that was even possible. I started by resting – at least as much as I could with a newborn – and then very slowly and gently moving my body. I used the body awareness I had cultivated over the years to reconnect to my center, to my core, to my baby’s first home. The core is not just the abdominals – it consists of the muscles that wrap all the way around the center to stabilize the spine, including the diaphragm (breathing muscle), multifidus (stabilizing muscles in the back), transverse abdominis (deep abdominal muscles that act like a corset), and pelvic floor (group of muscles that form a hammock or sling to support the pelvic organs).

Did you know that breathing can be core work? Starting with the breath is an excellent way for us to reconnect to our core postpartum. Once I had focused on breathing properly, I incorporated other gentle pelvic floor and abdominal exercises and movement of the spine. Pushing too hard too fast can cause more damage than good. As the weeks and months went on, I noticed myself regaining strength, and I was able to challenge myself a bit more. It was a joy to be able to focus on myself, even for a few minutes each day – to breathe, to move, to check in with myself and how I was feeling. It allowed me to be a better, happier, fully engaged mom. When I move my body, it is like the stresses of the day just slide off onto the mat beneath me, and I can get out of my head for a little bit – all the worries, the thoughts, the busyness of a first-time mama. Just to get that brief mental break, that was everything. I always ended up feeling refreshed, renewed, uplifted, and energized.

It took a while to fully sink in how important my Pilates practice would be for my early days of motherhood and beyond. For one, motherhood is physically demanding – we need to be strong enough to pick up, hold, and carry our growing children, to navigate bulky car seats and strollers, all while often sleep-deprived and exhausted. A focus on the core, posture, and correct alignment is particularly helpful for new mothers, who typically have emerged postpartum weaker and tend to carry their babies more on one side than the other. Safely moving in all directions (flexion, extension, lateral flexion, and rotation) and working every muscle helps to support balance in the body. New mothers tend to hunch over, while feeding or holding the baby much of the day (and night). Strengthening the muscles of the upper back and doing some gentle extension and rotation of the thoracic spine supports our posture, creates more space to breathe, improves mobility, and relieves tightness and tension. In addition, chest-opening stretches, such as lying supine on a foam roller or on the ground and opening arms out to the side can feel amazing.

While I believe that all mothers are innately strong, sometimes we need a little support along the way. Pilates supports us not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. The focus on connecting the mind and the body through breath, concentration, and controlled, precise movements can help us to navigate the ups and downs of motherhood by returning us to the present moment. Deep, deliberate breathing can be such a helpful tool for staying calm through the uncertainties of life with small children and releasing the stress that accumulates in the body and mind. It can also support us by lifting our mood and spirits, assist us in connecting to ourselves again, and empower us to feel confident in our changing bodies and roles.

Motherhood, like Pilates, is a practice. Every time we move our bodies, it is a little bit different, depending on how we feel, how much sleep we have logged, how much time we have, how we have fueled ourselves, and what thoughts are on our minds. Both matrescence and Pilates require patience. There is no final destination. There is only continuous adjustment, improvement, and learning – steps forward, backward, and then forward again. All we can do is the best we know at any given time, as we embrace the incredible transformation of motherhood with grace, calm, and inner strength.

Kristin Colsky Gavin is a native of Sausalito and lives there now with her husband, John, and her two-year-old son, William. She is a UC Berkeley graduate and Pilates instructor with ten years of experience and her own business, Kristin Gavin Pilates. Kristin has worked with all kinds of bodies, ages, and fitness levels but has a particular passion for working with pregnant and postpartum clients. She is also studying to consult on nutrition for pregnancy, postpartum, and babies. Contact her at kristin@kristingavinpilates.com. Website coming soon!

When not practicing or teaching Pilates, Kristin can be found swimming, practicing yoga, hiking the trails of Marin, cooking, writing, studying languages, traveling near and far, and spending time with her family. She started open water swimming several years ago and has completed the Alcatraz to San Francisco swim three times.