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Baby Babble
IF I WERE NOT A BABY
By: Ashley Hoppe | October 5, 2022
There’s a song that I’ve heard my parents singing; it goes “If I were not a horsey, something else I would be. If I were not a horsey, a dolphin I would be!” I’ve heard them put different words in for the horsey and dolphin: different animals, different things around the house, and different jobs such as a firefighter or a doctor. My mom says that she learned the song from her days as a sleepaway camp counselor. I have no idea what those words mean, but I can only assume it’s something very very fun since the song is so catchy. It does make me think about myself, though. I know I am not a horse, and I know I am not a dolphin, and I even know that I'm not yet a firefighter or a doctor. I know I’m a baby. My parents always refer to me as their baby, so I know this is true. But, sometimes I wonder, what would I be if I were not a baby?
If I were not a baby, there's something I would be. If I were not a baby, an elephant I would be! I’ve seen elephants on my trip to the zoo. I’ve also seen that in some of the books my parents read to me. They are very big, gray and have large ears. They seem to be happy most of the time, always staying close to their mommy. They get to walk around with their big feet, playing outside all day until they want to lay down in the shade. Then they get to listen to the trees blowing in the wind while they nap. I don’t love napping, but I do love watching the trees.
If I were not a baby or an elephant, a bird I would be! I’ve mostly seen birds while walking around the neighborhood or looking out the window. There is one book that my parents read to me about birds, and I also like to look at the pictures in that book. The birds look like they are having the time of their lives, just floating around in the sky. They are also so close to the trees; I’m sure they love looking at them. Birds also tend to travel in groups, never alone, and have pretty nests to share.
If I were not a baby, an elephant or a bird, a big bear I would be! Bears look so cuddly, judging from the bear I saw at the zoo and the bears I see in my books. They seem to have big smiles, so happy all the time. They are also very soft and get to eat honey all day. I’ve never tasted honey but my parents say it's sweet and warm. Bears get to live outside under the trees, walking around all day until they get tired. Then they get to cuddle up together near a tree and take a big long snooze.
My parents say I can be any of these things for a holiday coming up called Halloween. I get to dress up like any of these animals, whichever one my parents agree will be the best. I don’t quite understand how I can dress up like one of these things since I am a baby human and not a baby elephant, bird or bear. But my parents are very smart so I'm sure they have something very ingenious in mind. I am not sure how they will decide, but I will say that if it were up to me, I wouldn’t be any of these animals.
Instead, if I were not a baby, there’s something I would be, if I were not a baby, an avocado I would be! Avocados are extremely delicious. I have had them all mashed up and in spear shapes. They’re green, which is my favorite color since that is the color of the trees that I see on my walks. The green makes me feel calm and comfortable, with a sense of stillness around me. My parents keep talking about something called Halloween, trying to decide what I should dress up as. I keep pointing towards the avocado and shouting “avocado, avocado!” to them to get them to understand what I want to be. I don’t think they quite get it and they are still trying to decide but they may be leaning towards the avocado because my mom is trying to find an all green outfit and talking about cutting out a brown circle from paper. Oh, this may be the best day of my life. An avocado I will be!
Ashley Hoppe lives in Novato with her husband Brett and their son Jackson. You can find her hiking or trying a new coffee shop. She’d be delighted to hear from you at ashlauwain@gmail.com.