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INTERNAL BEGINNINGS

By: Denise E. Bailey   |   April 14, 2022

I love new beginnings, transitions, and changes. Some close to me might say that I am kinda addicted to them. There is something about firsts that is invigorating. A new year, a new career, a new home to organize...you get the picture. Over the years I have created a lot of stories in my mind to better understand why I love beginnings. Sometimes I feel like I've overshared (obviously I am a bit of an open book) and then I have extrovert regrets when my views, opinions, or actions are judged. Other times I feel that I am a forever recovering perfectionist, always asking the teacher for a new worksheet (ditto for those of us that are older), so I don't have any mistakes on my assignment. I had attributed new beginnings with physical changes – until I became a mama.

It is impossible to be perfect in motherhood. It is easy to try and fake it on social media and/or the few times you meet up with family and friends. But the truth is that motherhood is a continuous learning curve and just like school...some subjects are easier for us to comprehend. When we mess up with our own children, we don't get to walk away. Instead, we have to face the consequences of our mistakes and decide how to proceed, all while modeling life lessons. The weight of this truth felt unbearable when our daughters were in the toddler and newborn years. As an educator, I have discussed all of the developmental stages and suggested how to navigate them in countless parent conferences. But here I was, knowing better yet failing. What they never teach educators about parents is the sheer overwhelm and exhaustion we face. It is an educator's job to be part of the family village; however, often we are more focused on the student than the family.  

The only option available to me in motherhood is to renew my belief in myself and to know that I am already enough. Recently I have taken up Bikram Yoga. It cleanses me and helps me surrender. It is hard and tiring. And it is something I do just for myself. Find your Bikram Yoga. Nurture yourself, too, mama. 

My hope for you during this new season of Spring is that you continue to find all the joys, whatever that may mean to you, and to acknowledge and feel all of the worries and fears you may have about what you cannot change. Lean into it all of it. Then release it. Internal new beginnings are essential to truly evolve. You are worth it. 

Denise Bailey is on a mission to to help women transition into and through the various Phases of Motherhood. As a former educator and mama of three she now fully understands that the journey to enoughness requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion and self-care. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the beautiful mess. You can follow Denise @TheNurturedMommy and learn more about this movement at thenurturedmommy.com

More from this issue:

8 Tips for Dealing with Weeds Read >> 

April is for Tools Read >>

Book Picks: Easter and Passover Books Read >> 

Go Ahead: Brag A Little Read >>

Gracing New Beginnings Read >> 

Internal Beginnings Read >> 

Meet the 2022-2023 SMMC Board Read >> 

Meet Wendy Xa, Head of School at Terra Schools Read >> 

Mindfulness in the Making: April's Full? Read >>