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SELF-LOVE IN THE TIME OF CORONAVIRUS
By: Kelly Brown | February 28, 2022
I was three blocks away from preschool pick up when I realized my feet felt extra toasty because… I still had my slippers on. I was already late, so instead of turning around for shoes I started rationalizing. It isn’t raining. They have hard soles. Whatever, I can’t be the only one.
I arrived at school and stepped out of the car, toasty toes and all. I glanced into the backseat of our SUV loaded with three car seats—and enough crumbs to indicate possibly a raccoon as well—and snapped a photo of my slippers as evidence of my mental state. You know you’re mentally taxed when you forget your shoes.
Like many other families, we got the exposure notice from my daughter’s school a few days after returning from winter break. Five days later, there were sniffles and a positive test, followed by several days of at-home-mask-wearing, an 8-year-old with an iPad in our bedroom and a spot on the couch next to my husband with whom I frequently exchanged sideways glances as we wondered who was next. We tried our best to contain the virus to just one child, but a slow cascade of positive tests followed, leading to 18 days of having at least one child home from school, many missed days of work, and 852 loads of laundry.
We were just a few days into wellness and freedom when my slippers went to preschool pick-up. My physical body had started to recover, but mentally the strain of the last two years, and the chaser of the last 18 days, was evidently asking for my attention.
January was like the last shot you didn’t need at the end of a college night out.
I think we can all agree, parenthood is challenging, but historically I’d balance things out by leaning into tea with friends, counting on school for a reprieve, or scheduling a sitter. But the tea date got rescheduled since I was recovering from the virus myself, school days came with an asterisk*, and the weekend babysitter canceled the night before due to an exposure.
I recognize the tremendous privilege in our situation to have a home, healthcare, loving friends, a family and a paycheck. I know it could be so much worse and is so much worse for many. At the same time, the swirl of it all is a lot for everyone and I’m wondering, how can we best show ourselves some much needed support and love as parents during an ongoing pandemic?
In exploring this for myself and with clients, I’ve realized the need to shift my thinking from counting on big moments to recharge me, like playdates and childcare, to counting on small things. Like a promise to myself to drink my tea without looking at my cell phone. And a commitment to read books just because I love reading. I’ve realized I can count on small rituals, like Thursday morning phone dates with a dear friend (even if there is sometimes a child in the background). And I can pay attention to what it feels like to hold my three-year-old’s hand in a parking lot. I can ground myself in each moment because there is so much beauty in the moments regardless of the swirl that’s happening around us.
Now it’s your turn.
Where is one small place you find support and love when things get overwhelming?
What are the small moments that you treasure most?
What is one ritual you can bring into your day that would feel joyful and loving to you?
There are so many unknowns, and it can feel lonely and isolating, but if we keep digging all the way down to the lowest common denominator, we will find that there are many things we have in common. We’re all seeking love, support, community, friendship and a little bit of certainty. From that place of depth, we can anchor there when the waves are threatening to knock us over. You can count on yourself, and when you’re honest about what you’re going through you can build bonds with other parents going through the same things. You are stronger than you’ve ever known and you’re proving it every day, with or without your shoes.
*Yes, you have school unless you mention your throat. Then you will be sent home.
Kelly Brown is a mother of three, Health Coach, and founder of Real Food House. Kelly leads a transformational wellness program called 10x REAL where she guides people in prioritizing their own health and wellness in the midst of parenthood. You can reach Kelly by email - kelly@realfoodhouse.com follow her @realfoodhouse or learn more at www.realfoodhouse.com
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