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DON’T BURN UP
By: Justin P. McCarthy | November 18, 2021
Along with the exhilaration of sore arms and fresh antibodies, spring of 2021 brought many of us the beginning of an end to our variously self- and externally imposed exiles. Enthusiastic signs on storefront windows sang, “Welcome Back!” and “Join Us for Dinner!” Doors are now found propped open and restaurant windows vent tempting wafts of—is that bread that someone else baked?
We overcame our reservations: “Are those tables really six feet apart?” “That waitress has her mask under her nose!”
We sat down, timidly at first, then folding away our timidity along with our masks to tuck in with gusto worthy of a piously earned Eid Al-Fitr feast.
Our food was tastier, our friends’ bon mots wittier and our Orangetheory Fitness classes more excruciatingly intense. Our collective dopamine fast was over, or at least ending, and everything was just so bright!
Fast forward through a summer of trips and camps and kitchen remodeling. I find myself shifting around in the sun on the edge of a folding chair trying to find a spot where my back doesn’t hurt and I’m yelling, “Go, Red Rubies! Get that ball outta there! Take it to the goal--the goal!” with more enthusiasm than might be warranted for a game where no one is supposed to be keeping score.
My back twinges and my inner cynic sniffs, “Aren’t all rubies red?” I frown.
The Rubies go on to “win” 6-4, though again, we’re not supposed to be keeping score, and my daughter Claire, flush with the joy of her “victory,” saunters over to extort funds for an ice cream from the truck, which has been parked fifty yards away for an hour, looping the same thirty second, eight-bit rendering of “It’s a Small World” over a speaker so powerful it might have gone astray from Dua Lipa’s touring kit.
This is the first of two games today, to be followed by two sure-to-be-fought-over piano lessons this afternoon and a drive to Palo Alto for a football game this evening. There’s more soccer tomorrow plus a hike on Mount Tamalpais with some friends before my mom comes over for dinner. And let’s not forget last night, when we met some different friends outside for dinner at Pizzeria Picco.
If spring was the heady return to life as we knew it, fall leads us to wonder if we’re heading in just a bit too fast. Are the heat shields going to hold up?
Our weekends, so unscheduled and empty of commitments last year, have transformed completely. During lockdown, we managed to fit a hike on Ring Mountain, two The Lord of the Rings films, a family hearts playoff, and a make-your-own pizza dinner into one Saturday. Now, we are once again jammed with social and team commitments, things we at some point signed up for but which, given a choice in the moment, we’d often swap for a day in our comfies, making nachos and watching The Great British Baking Show.
However, these commitments matter. They enrich our lives, meaningfully and tangibly, in ways we sorely missed during last year’s lockdown. They nurture our connections with friends and neighbors, foster our children’s emotional and social development, get us outside, keep us moving.
And yet they can overwhelm, also. After such a long break, we’re not all used to doing so much, so fast. If you feel like your re-entry is going too quickly, that you might be heading for a crash, pull up, take a break: block off an afternoon, or a day, or a weekend, or more than one. Do this every week, or every month–as often as you need to. Breathe in, relax. Take another lap in orbit. The commitments will be there when you land.
Justin P. McCarthy lives in Tiburon with his wife, Katie, and their three children--Jack, Ali, and Claire. He’d be delighted to hear from you at jpm.smmc@gmail.com.
More from this issue:
3 Toxic Myths About Parenting Picky Eaters Read >>
Holiday Allergies Read >>
Kate’s Take: Let Them Have Chicken Nuggets Read >>
Mindfulness in the Making Read >>
Re-Thinking Your Lawn Read >>
Setting Kind Boundaries Read >>
SMMC Thanksgiving Meal Box Project Read >>
Thanksgiving Book Recommendations Read >>