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HOLIDAYS WITHOUT THE HUSTLE
By: Kelly Brown | October 21, 2021
Before 2020, the holidays meant traveling to Chicago to visit our family with our three children, and sometimes our dog, in tow. I’d ship gifts, charge iPads, and try to channel my inner yoga instructor while in the airport security line. Needless to say, although there were many special moments and I have no regrets about taking those trips, the holidays always felt like a hustle. I thought it was the traveling that made the holidays feel that way but it turns out, traveling wasn’t the only problem.
Last year we didn’t travel for the holidays, and I realized that while traveling can make the holidays extra chaotic, hustle is mostly a state of mind and it’s equally possible to stress myself out while staying home. If left without a plan, I’m like an elf who ate too many candy canes. There are cookies to bake! Magic to make!
The desire to create a magical holiday jam-packed with gingerbread houses and hot cocoa movie nights comes from a desire to create memories with your children. But the hustle of it all can leave you feeling exhausted, resentful, and battling a cold on January 3rd while saying things to your husband like, “Next year, no gifts!”
So, the question is, what can you do to create a magical holiday season without the hustle?
The answer, like most things in life, is to align with your values and plan ahead. Here’s the guide I’m using this year.
Step 1: Align with your values and choose your top-priority events.
What do you value most in life? Is it quality time? Humor? Adventure? Now think about how these values translate into activities you’d like to do with your family. If you value quality time, maybe a tech-free weekend of board games and hot cocoa is right for you. If it’s humor, maybe it’s Elf on repeat and maple syrup on your pasta. Adventure? A trip to an ice rink or taking your kids skiing for the first time might fill you up.
Once you’ve decided on a few events (1 or 2 big events only, remember, no manic moments this year) that would make the holidays feel special to you and your family, add those to your calendar in pen. If a neighborhood cookie swap comes up, the answer is, “No, thank you, we have plans.” Holding time for the special moments allows you to relax knowing the most important items already have a home.
Do this: Ask your family about their favorite holiday activities and choose your top-priority events.
Step 2: Schedule time for the things that stress you out (or delegate them) and pair them with something fun.
Overwhelmed by gift shopping? Recruit your kids to help think of gifts for their cousins this year or pair your online shop-a-thon with a chai tea latte in your favorite mug. Hate baking holiday cookies? Decide to make granola this year, delegate to your partner, or purchase store-bought cookies without any guilt involved. Whatever it is, add it to your calendar and don’t look back. If it’s a big task like gift-shopping, add time to think about the gifts and other times to shop and send them.
Do this now: create a gift tracker in Google Docs and share with your partner. Add gift ideas as they come to you.
Step 3: Figure out the logistics around travel, guests, and meals.
The quickest way to kill the eggnog buzz is to find yourself managing logistics and asking your guests what they’d like to eat three times per day. If you have guests visiting, break down the tasks into chunks (wash sheets, plan meals, shop for food). If you’re traveling, spend time a few weeks ahead figuring out what you’ll do and who you’ll see while you’re there. Block your calendar the week before as much as possible to prepare for your trip.
No matter what’s happening, it’s helpful to plan your meals and/or make a list of carryout and restaurant options so you can focus on rest and joy instead of worrying about what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while the kids are home from school.
Do this now: Start a holiday meal plan (I have a meal planning template on my website at www.realfoodhouse.com/food that you can download for free if you need one).
Step 4: Build in breaks, skip the things you hate (if possible), and divide up the work.
There’s nothing worse than over-extending yourself during the holiday hustle only to look back and realize you didn’t really enjoy your time because you were in the kitchen figuring out how to make gravy while everyone else was playing Uno in the living room. So this year, before you get to the, “Am I the only one who does anything around here?!” place, divide up the work and build in breaks.
I know I need time to myself at the start, middle and end of each day and I’m unapologetic about that because it’s better for everyone. I also really don’t like making gingerbread houses or baking cookies so we do other things instead. It’s never a bad thing to make time for yourself, because it’s only when your stocking is full that you can give to others.
Do this now: Ask yourself, what types of break and support will I need? What will I not do this year?
The holidays have the potential to be magical not just for your children but for you too, because it’s time you can spend together. Use this as permission to ignore anything that doesn’t feel good to you (including any of the advice found here) and remember that by next year your kids will have already outgrown the Elsa doll they begged for so desperately but they’ll remember how loved they felt when you were all together.
Kelly Brown is a mother of three, Health Coach, and founder of Real Food House. Kelly leads a transformational wellness program called 10x REAL where she guides people in prioritizing their own health and wellness in the midst of parenthood. You can reach Kelly by email - kelly@realfoodhouse.com follow her @realfoodhouse or learn more at www.realfoodhouse.com
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The Motherhood Read >>
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