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It Must Be Nice

By: Denise E. Bailey   |   September 28, 2021

It must be nice.

I can’t tell you how many times this phrase has gone through my head. I still think about it even though I know that gratitude and resentment cannot occupy the same space.

How often do you find yourself thinking that someone has it easier or better than you, including your spouse? It could be because they have a nanny, grandparents who live in town, a successful career, the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mama...the list goes on. Why is it that even though we have everything we could ever want—it’s never enough?

The answer is two-fold. On the one hand, motherhood can sometimes bring feelings of resentment wrapped in “not enoughness”. On the other, these feelings are actually communicating our need to stop and smell the roses. The beauty of our thoughts is that they are just that: thoughts. Our perceptions can be changed through awareness. You have to take a moment to realize that if you are living in resentment then you are living in missed opportunities. You have the ability to live a fulfilled life.

So here we go again: you must give yourself permission to nurture yourself first. Hire a life coach, find an accountability partner, schedule weekly date nights with a mom tribe friend, find a moment each day to move and feel your body, journal, admit to yourself you need and want help. The list goes on. 

If you are mad that your husband works out every day, ask him if you can go on a walk when he gets home. If you feel like he has to travel too much for work, find the silver lining.

I have found that when my husband travels, bedtime routines are smoother. Yes, I want him home more, but I also want him to live his best life even when that means that he is away from home more than I’d anticipated.

In our marriage, I am the primary caregiver. And yep, it's way more work than I thought. Maybe it is time to revisit the conversation and reassess the tasks/duties. I promise you, he wants a happy wife. And your child(ren) will be so happy when he does a school pick up a few times a month (yep, he’s gonna be the superhero...just let it be).

Remember when comparison sets in, it becomes the thief of everything. Look inward and count those blessings.

Build your gratitude muscles while also acting within your power to change the things you can. Practice accepting the things you can't change right now, which is so much easier said than done.

Motherhood is one of those unique roles in our lives where no matter how hard we try, we just don’t give ourselves any slack. An abundance mentality is really the cure. Motherhood is magical, tender, and amazing but it is also hard. You are not alone in these feelings. Spend some time getting them out so you can also live your best life because you are the only one in charge of your happiness.

Denise Bailey is on a mission to to help women transition into and through the various Phases of Motherhood. As a former educator and mama of three she now fully understands that the journey to enoughness requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion and self-care. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the beautiful mess. You can follow Denise @TheNurturedMommy and learn more about this movement at thenurturedmommy.com

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How to Choose a Preschool: A Complete Guide  Read >>

Member Spotlight: Determined to be a Mom  Read >>

Six Tips to Discovering Financial Bliss for the Blended Family  Read >> 

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