Crier Landing Page >>

MEMBER SPOTLIGHT: AMANDA KAHLOW’S JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

By: Pamela Parker  |  Photos: Cristen Wright  |  September 28, 2021

Almost two years ago, Amanda Kahlow decided to change the course of her life. She left 6sense, a tech company of which she was previously CEO and Chairman (that has now turned into a $2b unicorn), to pursue what she views as the most important job one could ever have: being a mom. 


Photos Cristen Wright

 Mill Valley’s Amanda Kahlow’s professional achievements are impressive – she’s part of the less than 1% of women founder CEOs to have raised over $100m and to have started a company now valued over a billion dollars.

But like everything she does, it is all or nothing for Amanda, and she quit her job to focus on becoming a mom. 

“I have known my whole life I wanted to be a mom and I always just thought it would happen naturally. When it became clear to me this is what I needed to do, it took me almost two years to step down as CEO and make my way out of the company to give this chapter of my life my all.”  

But things often don’t turn out the way we imagine they will, and Amanda had to defy the odds to become a mom.  

“When I started my company at 37, I gave it all my energy and devotion for six years. Time got away. Dating and starting a family were always a strong desire but in the back of my mind, not my priority.  At 39, the biological clock knocked and I started down the path of IVF with my then-boyfriend. It was a really stressful time.”

Three years and four cycles of IVF later, she got 28 eggs but ended up with only one viable embryo.

She was told the quality of the embryo was not very good – a 5 out of 10. 

Amanda got pregnant but miscarried a few months later. 

“After the IVF doctor said I only had a 1% chance of getting naturally pregnant, I gave up on having a biological child.”

Driven by her determination to raise a child, Amanda started down the road of adoption. 

“Because I'm a single woman, I’m at the bottom of the adoption agency list even though they don't tell you that. It would be four years before I was matched. If I were lucky.” she said. “And so, I realized I needed to take fate into my own hands.”

Amanda created a website, SEO optimized it and paid for per click Google ads, which resulted in getting up to 10 pregnant “birth mothers” a month or so reaching out to her. 

She supported some financially but the adoptions always fell through for one reason or another. 

Until one day, when she got a call about a premature baby in a Philadelphia hospital. She had previously matched with the birth mother, but the mother had gone dark. Amanda assumed this one was just another that wasn’t going to work out. But after receiving the call, Amanda jumped on the next red eye flight and baby Fiona was in her arms at 2:00pm the next day.  Given COVID and like most adoption processes, it took longer than expected to unify legally. Nine months later, Fiona Bobbi Kahlow became her daughter by law.   


Photo: Cristen Wright

“She was a preemie, only five pounds and she was in the 10th percentile. For three days it was really bad and it just broke my heart. Her lips and rear were bright red and she didn’t look like she was doing well. Today she doesn’t even look like the same baby.” 

Amanda, who had a challenging upbringing in Maryland, doesn't take things for granted.

“My mom never made more than $19,000 a year and I grew up below the poverty line. I lived in 18 houses before I was 22 and in some of the neighborhoods, we were the minority being white. We would often attend black churches and I've just really felt connected to the energy of the black community. 

Raising a black child in Mill Valley has been surprisingly easy so far for Amanda.

“I struggle sometimes because I joke that this is ‘Milk Valley’, you know, it's all white. What has kept me here is this: I realize if I moved somewhere else, there may be more diversity but there'll also be more racism.” 

She says she can’t walk out her front door without people in town stopping her to tell her what a beautiful baby she has.  


Photo: Cristen Wright

“I sometimes feel the attention. It's just overwhelming. Like how accepted she is in this community? At least I feel that right now. And pray it continues.”

The pair lives behind Old Mill Park in Mill Valley and has joined SMMC’s July to September 2020 playgroup. 

“I believe in the non-attachment to outcomes and things are going to happen as they are. It was just a matter of when (not if) and the timing couldn't be more perfect. Everything worked out.”

Amanda could not be happier, living here with her daughter. “She's absolutely perfect. She's the easiest, happiest, smartest, most curious, funniest, loving baby in the whole world. And I'm simply obsessed with her.”

Now at 44 without the stress of her job, Amanda decided to give IVF one more try to make Fiona a sibling as she feels her siblings are one of life’s greatest gifts.

This time she has three more cycles of IVF and now has nine viable 10/10 quality embryos. 

She asks we keep her and Fiona in our thoughts to make a sibling for her daughter a reality.

---

Non-traditional families series
SMMC recognizes that families come in all shapes and sizes in our community. We bring to you an interview series of the member families among us that are different and beautiful in their own unique ways. 

---

More from this issue:

A Mother’s Love: Food Allergy Testing  Read >>

How to Choose a Preschool: A Complete Guide  Read >>

Comparison, You Thief of Joy  Read >>
 
Six Tips to Discovering Financial Bliss for the Blended Family  Read >> 

Sleep-away Camp for Newbies  Read >>

The Tech Conundrum for Parents  Read >> 

3 Tips to for Staying Grounded During a Toddler Tantrum  Read >> 

---

---