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WHY CAN’T MOMS TAKE SICK DAYS?
By: Denise Bailey | September 9, 2021
We rarely talk about the fact that mamas don’t get Sick Days.
As a mother, even if you’re not feeling well, meals need to be made, boo-boos need to be kissed, spouses/partners need attention. Calling in sick simply doesn’t exist in motherhood. This vocation is a 24/7 gig with no OT and no mental health days.
So—how do we nurture ourselves while nurturing our families?
The most obvious time we could ask for help is when we are sick—but do we ask for help then? How many of us try and power through when all we want to do is curl up in a bed, take a nap, watch our shows and read a book? How often do we secretly hope our partner would just take everything even for a day so we could simply r-e-s-t?
In early July, my family caught that bug going around Marin.
It started with our oldest daughter, infected our twins, then it hit my husband hard on a Saturday. Everyone lounged around the house watching movies and resting while Mama nursed the family back to health.
I was grateful I hadn’t caught the bug...but then I spoke too soon. As I fell ill, in came the chills, the nasal drip, the insane congestion and more COVID tests. I was exhausted after taking care of everyone for the last two weeks which made my own recovery even more challenging. This got me thinking...what could I do differently next time?
If I am being totally honest, my diet isn’t as clean as I know my body likes.
I usually stay up until 10:30pm when I am tired around 9:00pm.
I rarely sit down to rest when my girls are on screen time.
I feel guilty when our meals aren’t home-cooked.
I am much more at peace when I meditate but rarely use my Headspace app.
I have set an intention to wake up each morning before everyone to drink my cup of coffee in peace while I journal but have only done it twice.
I continuously put myself last. Up until a year or so ago I wore this selflessness as a badge of honor.
The varying phases of motherhood present different opportunities and challenges for how to put our mental, physical, spiritual, social and emotional health first. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary.
There is a reason everyone tells you to nap when your newborn is napping. I never listened and truly wish I would have.
So, going forward, I pledge to use the time when our daughters are in Kindergarten and Preschool this fall to get to know and love the new me: permission to figure out what I really want to be “when I grow up”. And hopefully, the ability to take a nap when I get the inevitable cold.
A happy and healthy mama makes a happy home. You were worthy before you became a mama and you especially are now.
It’s time to believe it.
Denise Bailey is on a mission to to help women transition into and through the various Phases of Motherhood. As a former educator and mama of three she now fully understands that the journey to enoughness requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion and self-care. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the beautiful mess. You can follow Denise @TheNurturedMommy and learn more about this movement at thenurturedmommy.com
More from this issue:
Should I Hire a Postpartum Doula? Read >>
Top Tips for Parents Buying a Family Home Read >>
Dinner at my House Read >>
Canal Alliance: Breaking the Poverty Cycle Read >>
Buglet Learns to Fly Read >>