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LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE — AND REACQUAINT YOURSELF WITH CASSANDRA

By: Justin P. McCarthy   |   July 22, 2021

If you were paying attention in high school, you may recall the mythological cautionary tale of Cassandra. 

Cassandra was a prophet cursed by the god Apollo to see the future accurately, but never to have her predictions believed by anyone (and you think your personal quirks give you trouble!).

The same teacher may then have led you—as mine did—to the realization that we all have our own inner Cassandra: it’s that nagging voice inside that warns us, “Don’t put your phone there—you’ll forget where it is,” or “If you have that fourth Cutwater mango margarita, you’ll regret it,” or (ahem) “Finish your article now, before softball and Cub Scouts start up this weekend.”

Listen a little and you’ll hear your inner Cassandra warning you about all sorts of things, all the time, with implications ranging from the day-to-day to the occasional to the long-term. 

Somewhere in my twenties, I realized I could avoid countless instances of needless suffering by heeding these warnings, rather than letting them slip by. With patience, practice and a fair amount of pain, I got better at listening to my inner prophet’s short-term prognostications. It’s been a good 15 years since I’ve lost my keys, a phone, my glasses or a wallet (talk about tempting fate!). These days, when we leave the house, we don’t forget to sunscreen or grab snacks. We get gas when the light comes on, before the tank is empty.

Something about the frequency and regularity of these small torments drove me to create habits around them. But, not so with my intermittent or far-off troubles. The more time that elapsed between my warnings and the things I needed to watch out for, the worse I was at training myself to avoid them. I had begun listening to my inner Cassandra, but her voice faded quickly and, unless the thing she was trying to prevent happened again and again, I couldn’t work up the motivation to alter my behavior.

Until my late thirties, I followed just some of Cassandra's advice and ignored the rest.

As a result, I might not lose my keys anymore, but I forget some of the longer-cycle lessons. For example, I forgot about the time I got poison oak and decided to wander the woods bare-legged. Or, I bicycled far beyond the warning signs that I was aggravating my chronic back issues. Had I taken the time to listen and reflect, I may have heard the warning voices. But my brain just wasn’t wired to handle anything but the most immediate prophecies. 

I realized I needed help. 

SO, I CAME UP WITH A PROCESS:

1. Be mindful. You are (probably) wiser than you give yourself credit for. Also, you have probably conditioned yourself to ignore your own warnings. Over the course of a week, write down all of the prophecies your inner Cassandra makes. 

2. Triage. Sort out which prophecies you might be good at following, and which you struggle with. Maybe you’re a master at staving off distant catastrophe, or maybe you’re more like me and better at the day-to-day.

3. Adapt. Find ways to motivate yourself to respond to the inner warnings you’ve historically avoided. I made a new Google Calendar (named “Cassandra,” duh) with recurring reminders of my persistent scourges. You might develop your own mnemonic system. The web is full of advice and tools; try different things and see what sticks.

Your inner Cassandra might be quiet, and you might be trained to ignore her, but chances are she’s right a lot of the time. It’s worth listening to her advice—I won’t tell Apollo if you won’t.

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More from this issue:
FOR KIDS TO CARE ABOUT CHORES, TEACH THEM TO BE “FAMILY CITIZENS”  Read >>
FIVE SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT NEWBORNS  Read >>
REMEMBERING HOW TO HAVE SMALL TALK  Read >>
MOM HACKS: GLITTER JARS & MORE  Read >>
HOW TO EASE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS  Read >>
JULY’S BOOK PICKS: BIG FEELINGS  Read >>

 

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