The transition to school is a big one. Whether it’s starting Preschool, the first year of T.K. or Kindergarten, the first year at a new school, or simply heading back to a new grade with a new teacher. I am often asked as an educator how to ease this transition, and the advice I always come back to is to trust your child and the caregiver that you have chosen for them. You likely weighed your school options and chose this particular school because it aligns with your values. So then, I believe the hardest part as a parent is to step back and try not to control this transition. Leading up to the first day of school, however, there are some ways to support your child.

There are many books about starting school, here are a few of my favorites:

• Little Yellow Bus
• Bear with Me
• Llama Llama back to School

What can be even more helpful is creating a social story for your child. You don’t have to be an artist or a writer, but making your own book or comic strip with the logistics of their school transition can be extremely helpful. It can include what their morning routine will look like (wakeup, get dressed, eat breakfast, etc), who will drive them to school, what their classroom will look like, who their class teacher will be, and who will pick them up at the end of the day.

Practicing their new school morning routine can also be helpful. Drive to their school once or twice so they are familiar with where it is and what it looks like. If you’re able to get out and look around, even better!

One thing that can be counterintuitive to parents, and I have experienced this myself with my own child, is prolonging the goodbye. In the same way practicing the new morning routine can be helpful, it can be beneficial to practice or write into your social story what your goodbye will look like once at school. Not only where you will drop them off (at the curb, at the door to the school, or door to the classroom) but what your goodbye routine will be. A goodbye routine, for example, could be that you are going to do two hugs and a high five. Whatever it is, after you’ve done it once, you as the parent need to remain in control and leave. The longer you play out the goodbye the more your child can become dysregulated and begin to tantrum or demand a prolonged goodbye. Sometimes your child may need help from their teacher to separate from you; this is very normal and does not mean they won’t settle in once you leave. Don’t hesitate to call upon the teacher for support.

Transitions of any kind can be hard at any age, but once your child settles into their new school routine, they will be proud of themselves for navigating this big change. You got this! Happy back to school!