News / Articles

Life School

The Nurtured Mommy
LIFE SCHOOL

By: Denise E. Bailey | August 1, 2024

It is hard to believe that summer is almost over, with our daughters go back to school the last week of August. I am so grateful for an extra week or so with them before the hustle and bustle starts. Our oldest will be in third grade and our twins will be in first grade. It is insane to me that I have been a mama for almost nine years. Nine amazing, magical, fun, challenging, and exhausting years full of long days and extremely short years. The day I became a mother, I was forever changed (mind, body, and spirit). Nothing in my life has ever taken up as much time, energy, emotion, and effort. And I would do it all again.

There were so many ideas I had about what it would be like to be a mama, but nothing could ever truly prepare me. Our children reveal our blind spots and force us to love ourselves enough to commit to evolving…while also showing up every day to parent. In a magical and kind of crazy way, mom school has become life school for me. No class or book could ever fully prepare me for the journey and some actually may cause more harm than good. The messages of what you should or could be doing are overwhelming. Vulnerability kicks in, combined with lack of sleep, and soon you are wondering if you are doing it right. There is no right and everyone’s journey is different. The journey happens on the inside…in our souls, in our bodies, and in our brains. We have to manage our expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the mess. But how?

Motherhood requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion. Self-compassion is hard and that darn inner-critic is loud. Space and time (which can be difficult to find) is needed to make sure our own voices is the loudest. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. You have never cared so much about anything in your life before. Please forgive yourself for what you thought you should have been in this phase and take a moment to realize all you actually are. Perfectionism is an illusion. So, if you can, try and remember it is okay to make mistakes, learn, and grow. Go ahead and give yourself permission, just like you would do for your child.

Questions to Dive Deeper:
What is one thing that you have learned about yourself since becoming a mama that you are proud of? And what is one thing that you aren’t so proud of (go ahead and get it out so it doesn’t pop back up when you’re trying to fall asleep)?

What do you want to feel in your Mama Era of life?

How could you show yourself more self-compassion? Self-care?

Denise is a coffee lover, over-sharer, and truth seeker who is dedicated to vulnerably discussing the not-so-pretty parts of this beautiful role of motherhood. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into their enoughness. Denise is a certified Early Childhood Educator (ECE) and K-8 Multiple Subject Clear Credentialed Teacher who has taught it all from preschool to middle school. Read more from Denise under The Crier: Online Archive.